Gone green?

I'm positive that when I drive, no one is looking at me thinking, "that sure reminds me of Jesus", "that maneuver reminds of something the Savior would do!" In fact, it is probably the polar opposite. They might have coined the term road rage after watching me drive for a couple blocks, oh boy I hope not though.

It seems as though whenever you're in a hurry the cars in front of you seem like an enormous annoyance, and even when you're on a leisurely jaunt through country town, the cars behind you are irritating as well. It's usually never my fault. I am an almost perfect driver-no permanent demerits or traffic violations are on my criminal record anyway-I drive exactly the way I'm supposed to. Which, naturally, is my way or the highway. (pun intended)

Part of me wants to believe that I have authority issues and thus speed-break the law-to stick it to the man and "buck" the system. What system is that? That system, my friends, is the system that our hard earned and easy spent tax dollars use to employ Satan's minions to ruin perfectly good days.

Since my mini-stint in Utah over my long weekend, I've decided to do something about my authority issues. Now, whenever I get passed by some anal bead in a gas hog, I just think to myself, "one of these days I'll have revenge for this. My loyal buddy 'The System' never let's me down. He always gets his man."-traffic wise anyway, criminally speaking is an entirely different system altogether. Or I am going to say, "Your Mother must be so proud of you!" I say that because what have they won? Definitely not the pole position in the Indy 500, so who cares!! What have the got that I don't? An extra 5 seconds to pick their nose? Fair enough. What have I lost? Pride? Most likely, but it's not flattering anyway. Gas mileage? No sir. Studies show that going over 60 mph actually decreases your engines fuel efficiency. Proven fact. And when it's hot during the summer, it's better to roll down your windows and turn the AC off if you're going 35 mph or slower. Any faster and just turn on the AC and roll em on up because you aren't solving global warming with your measly vehicular AC, OR your iron pony's harmful emissions.

If losing a highway battle royale with a steel steed makes me a loser, then so be it. Because I've got one thing they don't have: a disco ball hanging from my rear view mirror.