Purple People Eater for real

A mass catastrophe has happened. Call the Coast Guard!! Call in Homeland Security!!! Call Nanny 9-1-1!!! Before I weave the web of this tragic saga, I must tell you that viewer discretion is advised. This story is not for the queasy stomach, no faint stomachs allowed. Belay on with the story.

I went and got my hair done Monday. I had this awesome idea, that was going to turn out really nice and it was going to look great-at least it did in my imagination. Blonde highlights, with dark purple lowlights-for winter they say to go dark, so for once I actually heeded that tidbit. The highlights and lowlights were put in at the same time, and were washed out at the same time. Bleaching the hair, first strips the hair so the shaft is more amiable to absorb the color. Remember this as it is crucial. As it was getting washed out, the bleached hair was so poreous that it sucked up all the excess purple that was getting washed out. I repeat. The purple bled all over the blonde.

The color pallate is very useful in hair coloring. The color green cancels out red, yellow and red cancels out blue-ish colors (something like that) that may be too cool for your skin tone. And finally, purple cancels out brassy tones. Purple being washed out of my hair, cancelled out the brassy-which was awesome-and also cancelled out a lot of the normal blonde, making it more silvery. I imagine the hair of an angel isn't gold. Isn't blonde. But more of a soft, wispery silvery-blonde. Which my roots mostly are now. The rest of it is almost a neon purple-with the exception of the dark lowlights-which turned out exactly how I imagined them, but they brought a traitorous BFFF. Bleeding.

I look like a secret love child of a My Little Pony (the mane and tail hair was always very...vibrant) and a Fraggle (for those of you too young to know what a Fraggle is, think pre-Muppet-Jim Henson creation) I digress. It doesn't look really bad. I'm just not used to looking like Rainbow Bright's friend Shy Violet. Good thing I like purple! Why are 4 out of 5 of Strawberry Shortcake's Nemesis' color of choice purple?? With the exception of Licorice Whip; Raisin Cane, Sour Grapes, and The Peculiar Purple Pieman of Porcupine Peak all have references to purple in their name and clothing color choice. Her friend Almond Tea from China Cup has purple hair too.

I'm not mad. I am still in shock that I, Gwendolyn Breyette Stoker, have purple hair. Good thing Halloween is coming up :)