It seems that the Columbia Basin is in a little bit of a pickle. A Baby Boom of sorts. Babies being born left and right-sometimes 2 at a time!!! It's utter madness!! Mayhem! Chaos even! On the bright side, these babies are almost THE cutest cutest things I've ever seen. I will explain why I say almost a little bit later.
About a month ago, driving past a gas station I vocally took note of how proposterous the price of gas was, and that if it ever dipped lower than $3/gal. I would make a baby with someone. I am well aware that intentional baby making is no joking matter, I honestly did not think gas would EVER beat me at limbo. I mean I'm no Gumby, but I am quite limber and bendy; but man gasoline took the whole "how low can you go/limbo" thing a little too literal.
I was floored-losing at limbo pun intended-when I saw gasoline at a lean $2.99 a mere 2 1/2 weeks later!!!!! Now gas is down to about $1.97 here in the Babyville, and since I have let many promises and threats go unanswered, this is one that I will keep. I. Gwendolyn Breyette Stoker. Will make a baby. In fact I will go ahead and do it right now just so all of you can bear witness that I have made true on my pact. Actually I will do you one better, or 10 to be specific. I took it upon myself to make hypothetical virtual prodigy's of yours truly and the finest male specimens I could find photographial documentation of on Google. Here are my top 10 Gwen/Celeb Hybrid Babies:
10. Gwen+ Freddie Prinze Jr.
9. Gwen + Mr. Rhode Island (from Cosmo 20 Hottest Bachelor's Ever sorry he's so pixelly)
8. Gwen + Mr. Ohio (See source from previous Baby Daddy)
O-HI!!!!-OH!!!!!!!!
7. Gwen + Ed Westwick (Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl)
6. Gwen + Usher
My confessions are that this baby would look fabulous in the club.
5. Gwen + Tyson Beckford
Model. Idiot?4. Gwen + Zav Efron
Thought he get prettier or have better hair? Well think again, because.....he. just. did.
3. Gwen + Cam Gigandet
2. Gwen + James Franco
Who knew Baby Green Goblin would be so adorable?!!?!?
1. Gwen + Stephen T. Colbert
Proof that "we belong together".
Honorable Mentions: Patrick Dempsey, Kellan Lutz, Jake Gyllenhaal.
Not to toot my own horn and be a proud Mamma, but 'toot toot' Now do you see why I said other babies were almost as cute? I hope you enjoyed the fruits of my labors-once again double pun intended-because they took me forever to put on here. 9 months to be exact.
P.S. Don't you worry about the appearance of buck teeth. You better believe that my babies won't have beaver teeth come hell or baby braces!!!
3 Words to Your Mother:
GWEN!!!!!!!!!!!! Funniest blog ever! I didn't think it was possible for those fella's to get any better looking, but I bite my tongue becuase Um apparrently they just need a little stoker in them!
RFLMFFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where do you come up w/ this crap?! That's one pretty crazy mind you've got there!
hahahahaha. That was awesome Gwen!
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