My ceiling looks like a Mistletoe farm!

I'm feeling philosophical as of late. And as a one who is the sole occupant of a cold Queen bed, I have been thinking. Everyone always wants to know what women want-even Screw What Women Want, I am one so that question is irrelevant. The question here is what do men want? Such a fickle thing is man. As the Katy Perry once said, "you're hot then you're cold."



YOU CAN HAVE A HONEY! AND YOU CAN HAVE A HONEY!!! YOU CAN BE MY HONEY! AND YOU CAN HAVE A HONEY! All for the gauranteed low price of FREE!!!



I am beginning to think that those Pontapee brothers had it right. If you want a cook and clean, you gotta steal her from her pa and all those other suitors. Don't get ahead of me now, I'm not writing this so I can be your getaway-stagecoach driver. You leave those Sobine women/men alone and lend me your peepers, and if you want feel free to grab a Bic and take notes.



These tips aren't gender specific so don't you worry. I won't hold it against you if you don't give heed to my tips, just don't punch me when I say I told you so.



1. Everyone, I don't care what they say, wants to date the entertainer. Someone who makes them laugh.



2. Everyone wants to feel understood. No Debbie Downers here. Understanding is a blanket word, which entails being positive, and no criticizing.



3. Everyone wants some degree of physical attraction. No Question.





It seems like I had a lot more tips than that...but apparently the Gospel of Dating According to Gwen is 3 rules simple. Fun, Understanding, and Attraction. Any Questions? If you think I missed something...feel free to abridge the Gospel According to Gwen. I won't mind. All I ask is that in doing so, you leave me someone under the Mistletoe.