You call yourself a proud papa/mamma. A fat lot of good that Proud Parent of an Honor student bumper sticker does if your child is hit by a car! Do I have a child? No, still have a pretty regular sleeping schedule. Is my kid gonna be popular? Odds are not in their favor..poor little bugger. And will I be the proud parent of an honor student? Most likely not, but hey, at least my kid's will be smart enough to hit puberty-alive and without being physically maimed by a mode of transportation!
It has been brought to my attention that discipline in households worldwide are recently becoming more and more lax. I vehemently must protest the child rearing practices of today's liberal-tree hugging-dirt loving-tofu eating (I love granola so no offense) parents. It's called TOUGH LOVE! I grew up in a house that believed vegetables meant carrots and corn, Circus animal cookies aplenty, tofu was not even heard of, and my parents believed in spanking, using any means within an arms reach that could be used for discipline-moms' favorite was a spaghetti measuring paddle she had made for enrichment, thank you relief society I'll be sending you my therapists' bill. What is it about society today that makes parents say, "you know what? I trust everyone, I'm gonna let my kids do whatever they want." NOTHING IN THE NEWS TODAY PROVES THAT THOUGHT TO BE CORRECT IN THE LEAST BIT!!!!!
How many parents does it take to pack groceries? I'll tell you. I went to park at the grocery store yesterday and this little girl was just standing in the open parking spot me and my car were about to occupy, while her oblivious parental figures were BOTH loading the groceries in their car. I could have squished her like a bug in my monstrosity of a Nissan and they wouldn't have even cared. I have also heard many a tale of parents leaving young kidlets unattended in lines at the supermarket.
Whatever happened to those mommy and me bracelets? I hear they make them into cute and cuddly backpacks now, and are quite fashionable if you ask me. They come in many different styles. You could have an animal backpack that come as a unicorn, cow, frog, lamb, bunny, horse, etc., or one with reins!! I had one. They came in pretty handy during those plentiful Disneyland sabbaticals. I didn't love it, but I'm still alive and haven't been kidnapped. Phillip the hyper-hypo's mom had it right. Harness the menace to a jungle gym. Only with unrealistic hulk strength-which he gained after gorging on a chocolate bar-only then was he able to break himself-along with the entire jungly structure-free. See? She did things right.
Whatever happened to those mommy and me bracelets? I hear they make them into cute and cuddly backpacks now, and are quite fashionable if you ask me. They come in many different styles. You could have an animal backpack that come as a unicorn, cow, frog, lamb, bunny, horse, etc., or one with reins!! I had one. They came in pretty handy during those plentiful Disneyland sabbaticals. I didn't love it, but I'm still alive and haven't been kidnapped. Phillip the hyper-hypo's mom had it right. Harness the menace to a jungle gym. Only with unrealistic hulk strength-which he gained after gorging on a chocolate bar-only then was he able to break himself-along with the entire jungly structure-free. See? She did things right.
Congratulations parents who have successfully raise your children to adulthood. You are a special few. This juice box is for you. SALUD!
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