"We dare not trust our wit for making our house pleasant to our friend, so we buy ice cream."-Ralph Waldo Emerson

If many of you look back at a previous post, I divulged a dirty secret. I have cornered the dating scene in the ward. Oh yes. It's true. Little Gwenny is all grown up and warding off potential suitors with one liner replies, no eye contact, and my candid ability to look right past their pocket protectors-protector and coke bottle glasses at more visually stimulating men-not to mention doing so with great hair and fabulous shoes. But nay, they don't care about the hair-or dare I even say the shoes. No. "F the hair, F, the shoes, I'de love you bald" their longing looks seem to say. I guess my dating strategy couldn't have been more wronger the last few years-funny wronger-shout out to testimony meeting. The last couple of FHE's have been interesting to say the least. I have been asked to ice cream on more than one occasion, by someone who turned down a promising football scholarship but got injured (bahaha), and who played 10 years of soccer, but failed to mention until asked to show a trick that he hasn't played since the 10th grade, mental note for all you single-hopeful-daters: NEVER EVER boast of skill if you have not played in a competative game in more years than you played total. Both times the potential love of my life asked me out to ice cream. What is it about ice cream?!?! I had a bishop at BYUI that told me to just go up to a guy and ask him out to ice cream, um ok A. NO way would I ever ask a guy out to ice cream- int he words of Emily- "I have a uterus, therefore you do the asking." and B. Why ice cream? Is there something that farmers put in the feed that makes cows produce some sort of mutated "magic" milk? Apparently there is something that was told during the boys' "Birds and the Bees" talk during those extra 15 minutes at recess. That something is that if you give a girl ice cream she will be putty in your hands. Ice Cream apparently is an aphrodisiac of sorts. Congratulations oysters you get to live longer, ice cream is the new sex drug of choice for serial daters and swingers.

I never thought I could say this about anyone, but I think I might be out of their league! Sorry, but I'm in the majors now slugger, you stay tough in tee-ball. It's a tough life, buck up, look alive and keep your eye on the target-which is not me!

Cheers big ears!