"You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies."-Steve Martin

It may or may not be true, but I like to think of myself as quite the movie-goer. I may not have seen every movie available, and frankly I would not care to see every movie. But I've seen a few movies in my day, even from the early years, maybe I was a bum of a child, or maybe my mom didn't want to entertain me. But here is a list of my top 5 movies-in no particular order-that I watched, loved, and memorized-as a tot.

1.) Teen Witch (1989)

"Louise! Louise! Your mornin' paper, and I took the liberty of ironin' your homework."

This movie is glorious. It's about a girl named Louise, who isn't really popular. She then finds out that she is a descendant of the Salem witches and develops her powers when she turns 16. First, she uses her powers to get back at all the people who ever made fun of her, and to make the captain of the football team fall in love with her. But then she develops a conscience, and wants him to love her because of her not because of the spell she cast on him. Her mentor, is this really short kinda creepy old lady. If you haven't seen it, you are missing out on 80's cinema at its best.

2.) Kuffs (1992)

"Hey, a-hole! Yes, you. Look, if you're gonna jump, jump. Otherwise, use the bridge like everyone else. You're screwin' up traffic down there."

Think way back. Back before Christian Slater got picked up by the cops numerous times. Back when he made this incredible cinematic adventure. I possibly love this movie more than any other in the world. Packed with many a choice word, scandelous situation, and violence this is a real classy movie for all ages! I have no idea who's idea it was to ever let me watch this movie, but I fell in love and I'm not gonna lie I may or may not have slept with this movie. Eff captain cuddle bear, I snuggled up to Christian Slater via fulm tape. Here's the snyopsis. George Kuffs just lost his job, and his girlfriend who is still in college is pregnant. Since he can't see how he can support her, he thinks she is better off without him. So he visits his elder brother, Brad, to squeeze him for a loan so he can go to Brazil where there's a gold-rush going on. Unfortunately Brad is killed and George is suddenly the owner of Brad's "patrol special" district.

Because of this movie, Christian Slater was my very first crush. No matter how many felonies or misdemeanors he will always have a special place in my heart.

3.) Weekend At Bernie's (1989)

"How do you like that? The guy gets laid more times dead than I do alive!"

I don't know who planned movie nights at my house, but they just kept getting better! Hey who let the 4 year old watch this? That's right my family. Blame that for my rockin upbringing. Richard and Larry are two best friends who discover that someone has been embezzling money from their company. When they inform their boss, Bernie Lomax, he is so apparently pleased that he invites then to his beach house for a weekend of fun and leisure and women. But when they arrive, they discover him dead! Richard wants to do the right thing and inform the authorities as quickly as possible, but Larry is determined to still try and have a weekend of fun and leisure and women. Not to mention there is a girl named Gwen in it!

4.) Spaceballs (1987)

"Checking in??"

"It's her Royal Highness' matched luggage!"

The planet Spaceball is running out of air and the planet's ruler President Skroob has devised a evil scheme, where he plans to steal the air from the atmosphere of planet Druidia. But Druidia is surrounded by a defense shield. When Druidia's Princess Vespa and her droid-in-waiting Dot Matrix flee from her wedding to narcoleptic Prince Valium, the evil commander of the Spaceball fleet, Dark Helmet captures Princess Vespa so King Roland will be forced to give them the access code to the air seal. But heroic space pilot Lone Starr and his sidekick, Barf (A Mog half man-half Dog) comes to Princess Vespa's rescue. With help from wise and powerful master of the magic ring "The Schwartz", Yogurt, Lone Starr, Barf, Dot and Princess Vespa set out to save Druida and foil Dark Helmet and President Scroob's scheme and prevent them from stealing the air from Druidia. This racy feature film rivals the directors' other movie Blazing Saddles for comedic gold!

5.) Happily Ever After (1993)

"YOU ARE DESPICABLE!...But you have a point."

Many a sick day were spent, curled up on the couch a big bowl of chocolate pudding in hand. The pudding always made me feel better. This is pretty much a reverse Snow White, but a classic nonetheless. The Evil Queen is dead and Snow White is on her way to see the 7 dwarves-who get captured. when Lord Maliss, the Queen's brother, sees her in the looking glass. He attacks her in the form of a dragon, taking Snow White's prince to the Realm of Doom. Enlisting the aid of the dwarves' girl cousins, Snow White must embark on a quest to save her true love.

Runners up: Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead and The Swan Princess

Cheers Big Ears!